Saturday, September 1, 2012

Inspired

I just spent some time browsing through the pages of this blog that I've had shut down for way too long now. {Yes, I did just re-open it and will work on some of my old posts and possibly add some new ones.}  Even though I have enjoyed blogging at my newer blog here, I admit, I miss what my old blog was.  I miss how so much was recorded and how I didn't feel so overly-guarded in regards to sharing myself, my family, my life.


Untitled


a cup of joy


I miss my love of photography, my love of experimenting with different editing techniques, my love of the art of it.


She tapped her finger & nothing happened & she thought she had lost her magic, but it had only changed & it took her awhile to figure it out.


These are little packets of light & you need to plant them early in the year & remember to mark where they were because lots of times they look like weeds in the beginning & it's not until later that you see how beautiful they really are.


our first eggs from our spring chickens :)


rain, rain, rain...


where i live


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nature's perfume....




 I miss my weekly self portrait challenges, recording the fact that the woman behind the lens was here, too.


  the softer sidehead to toe Shine




I miss my kids being this age.  I miss them smiling freely for the camera and I miss snapping hundreds of pictures every week and I miss the early morning hours, cleverly carved out of my already busy days, for editing.

 after the rain....creativity.




I even miss the crafty side of myself that hasn't been seen since the blog was shut down two years ago.  I miss the time spent stitching and knitting and sewing and creating with my hands.  I miss the inspiration and the drive.

  new dresses....in the making



These last couple of years have been full of changing.  Some changes for the better, some not.  Along with the changing has also come a great, long period of what I now know has been depression.  A period of time where inspiration is hard to find, even in the best circumstances.  A time when things feel hopeless for no reason.  A time of personal darkness, although the abundance of life's blessings should indicate a beautiful lightness.  A time of so much numbness on the inside, spent searching inside oneself for purpose, for reason, for light.

 I feel so ready to let go of this period of my life.  I want to release it, to learn from it, to take lessons learned and hold them close, to never return to this place again.  I want to move forward, sharing more, giving more, accepting more, doing more.  I want to take better care of myself, of the life God has given me.  I want to be more myself.  I want to accept the me I see and share her with everyone else.  I want to set a better example for my kids, as I have in the past.  I want to wake up from this long mental sleep, like Sleeping Beauty, and embrace life again.  Accepting the beauty of everyday life, the goodness and light that truly is everywhere.



 Thankful



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