Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Upside Down

upside down.....

I was playing around with another photo for this month's SPC theme, Upside Down, and came across this edit on Picnik. When I saw it I thought of how much it reminded me of how I've been feeling lately! All jumbled up, wonky, out of sorts, overwhelmed.....

I'm pretty sure that my main problem is that I've let sugar and a few carbs slip back into my diet - and I'm a bit in denial about it. I haven't been gaining weight......but gaining a bad mental state instead. Sugar does it to me every time. I had been sooooo good at avoiding it for over 6 months, losing weight, feeling incredibly good, had a better mental state than I'd had in years, had more energy, felt so strong and in control, and then - it happened. A little taste here, a little bite there, thinking all the while that I was "in control." No....I am never in control when I let sugar enter the equation.

Why did I let it get started again? Why did I lose my healthy motivation? Why did I take the first bite when everything was going so good? How did I let myself get so weak? Why is it so hard to just say no??? Those are the questions to ponder. However, when I look down into the soul of Me, I find that I did not lose my healthy motivation. It has just been on the side lines, feeling all dizzy and moody and blah from my all too frequent sugar overdoses, LOL! I know the holiday feasts aren't going to make things any easier, but as I think back to spring when I was right in the midst of my new healthy lifestyle, Easter dinner was a breeze and with my goal in sight, I gladly passed on the sweets and bread. That is the frame of mind I'm longing for right now. I know I have that same motivation still in me, I know I can do it, I have done it already!

Anyhoo...I'm not even sure what the point of this post is. I suppose it's to go through the rhythm of sorting my thoughts and feelings and typing them all into this blog, this little exposed piece of me, letter by letter, word by word, hoping that I'll have a huge light-bulb-moment again with everything making sense to me.

I know all the "pieces" are there, they are just temporarily jumbled up and tossed on their heads....just like the photo.


Amy said...

Well, you have a partner. I've been feeling the exact same way. I usually experience headaches after having a baby, so a few times I have gone off of sugar for that reason. With my 10th baby, I went without for four months to aid in weight loss and prevent headaches. With this last baby, I've only gotten as far as my intentions except for a few single week periods here and there. You've definitely inspired me.

See? Rambling is good for more than just yourself, sometimes. :)

dawn said...

once again, we are in sync! i have been doing and pondering the exact same thing myself. for me, i have to keep it in perspective that if i'm talking about what i'm doing with others, and i'm aware of what i'm doing, at least i am on the first step again to regaining my balance and momentum. it has helped me to stay sane with it and not beat myself up..(too badly) haha! i love what you said about the rhythmn of sorting your thoughts and feelings....such a great line and so meaningful. consider yourself supported with this struggle and hugged as well! you're not alone!

Nina said...

I quit sugar for literally years in an effort to solve my infertility issues but once we brought our daughter home from China all my good intentions went out the window with full nights of sleep.

Just reading your words last night made me realize how much I miss that good sugar free feeling. I going to try and eliminate sugar again starting today. Thanks for the inspiration.

Amy said...

Well, I got to thinking about your post and decided to do something about it.

I've offered a sugar-free challenge on my blog. If you're interested, come on over...


By the way, I really like what you did with your picture. It fits your feelings perfectly.

Jessica said...

I've had the same problem lately. I'm so glad to hear someone else is feeling over carbed and sugared!

Heather Jane said...

I found your blog through Turkey Cookies and like the title. Now that I'm here I see we have a few other things in common...your etsy store is very cute. I love your design aesthetic.

Good luck with the sugar situation. I'm feeling the same way. It's so hard to stay motivated when sugar and yummy food is everywhere!

"Dove" said...

Now I'm feeling really bad about my blog post for today. It's all about candy bars! Ha!

This time of the year the sugar cravings are the worst. Temptation is lurking everywhere. I get disgusted with my inability to refrain!

Okay, your photo? It's just plain cool. Nice job.

shannon hawkyard said...

Okay, I apologize as this has nothing to do with your current post except that I'm a photographer as well, and your work is wonderful!

My question is in regards to an older post on your "Me and My Girl" dated 6/8/08 blog about Princess Streamers....where did you find those little heart-shaped bangle braclets? I'd love to make these with my girls, but am unsure where to find these??